Hello all you beautiful Axe Aficionados! I know it has been ages since I have posted anything, and I apologize for that. I originally started this blog for a class I was in, and really enjoyed writing it, but time got away from me after my class ended. I am back though and committed to providing you with entertainment, information, general knowledge, introductions to some of the amazing throwers and staff in our communities, and anything else my weird little brain comes up with! Like todays blog post…
So, I had trouble sleeping last night. My mind was wandering from topic to topic, thinking about how I wanted to start my blog up again, what to discuss etc. and I flitted to a sketch from the late, great George Carlin. Now, if you have ever heard his skits, he was hilarious, but one of his skits in general struck a nerve. Sports. If you haven’t seen the skit, youtube it now then come back to me. He’s way better than I am anyways.
Carlin discussed how in his opinion there were only three real sports (Basketball, Baseball and Football), everything else was classified as an activity. He also had suggestions on how to improve these three sports. While I don’t necessarily agree that there are only three real sports, I did really like the principles behind his though process of improving these sports. So I have applied my weird and wonderful logic to this with regards to axe throwing. Below, I have listed my suggestions for how to improve certain sports/ activities with axe throwing rules and principles.
Baseball: Professional games can take forever with all the strikes and ball and foul balls (good thing there is beer). We get five throw so should pitchers.
Basketball: Three-point shots are so passé. If you are lining up for a three pointer and yell “CLUCTH” and make the basket, I vote you get seven points.
Volleyball: Paint a target on the floor. When someone spikes the ball into the target, they get the associated number of points.
Soccer: Kicking a ball into a giant net would be so much more impressive if the net….was a hanging tire….five points to the talented S.O.B. who kicks it in there.
Tennis: Replace the racket with an axe. If you cut the tennis ball in half, mid-air, you win automatically. While this may not speed up the games, I would love to see people trying to volley using axes.
Dodgeball: You know where I am going with this one….”If you can dodge an axe, you can dodge a ball”.
Football: Give all the players on the field an axe….and let the magic happen.
Golf: Put down the golf club, get in your golf cart, drive to the nearest NATF location and throw axes instead.
I also wanted to give some shout outs to sports/ activities that are trying really, really, hard to be as awesome as axe throwing. They already have some axe throwing features in them. These include: curling, darts and archery (targets), and hockey/ skating (blades are involved). Keep up the good work you guys, A for effort.
What do you think? Any other suggestions?
In the coming weeks I’ve got a trip planned to visit the lovely folks at Riot Axe in Guelph, we have some trick shots to share and some staff bios coming your way so stay tuned!